well, i finally figured out the reason why i am so depressed, so angry, why i have been cutting, throwing up, frustrated, sometimes suicidal-acting on attempts, and isolating myself. Well, i have several flashbacks of my childhood and sometimes today. My past bothers me so much that i remember every little detail, weather its jelousy between my mom and stepdad, an action that someone did that reminds me of something i did not like when i was little, or even if something like an object reminds me of something, basically...just ANYTHING i see reminds me of my past, i swear. Anyways, now i might have to go to residential or whatever and to be honest i dont think its right for me. For five years straight doctors, my mom, hospitals, etc...have been treating me with the wrong meds, treatment plans in general. I am so hurt, and upset right now because now i regret ever realizing it or even trying to figure it out and letting someone know. Maybe i would of got the help i actually needed, the help i was actually trying to look for. and i found my issue causing all this mess, does anyone know the right kind of way to handle this or kinda treatment?? Any options, or advice?? I'd just like to look into further and im also going to talk to my doctor tonight about it too.

Thanks-take care,

deb