I do deserve to be alone as punishment. To escape the reality that was my life I acted out sexually with escorts. Haben't done it since but it matters not. My life is a living hell, in part becasue of things that others did to me, but mostly because of things that I did to myself. The shame and guilt over what I have done ripps me apart each and every day.

So I am being punished for my actions. It is only fair, as I should be held accountable for what I have done.