Never read the book.

I do believe, though, that if you are both "committed to working on it" as you stated, then yes, you can have a healthy relationship. It might take some work, but if you're both keeping the same goals in mind, you may find yourselves each moving away from the unhealthy extremes toward a more healthy medium.

My husband and I had incompatible money issues. Through enough discussions, we've worked out a workable system. I don't hoard all our money, and he doesn't spend it all. I know it's completely different from your situation, but it does show that opposites can work.