That's almost exactly what it is! I am glad I am not alone in this. I hate saying "they are uncontrollable". But they are very matter of fact, not controllable. I started out of therapy, years ago, when I was still a teenager. I was triggered (usually the things that raise my stress level are things that remind me of the past). And in a response I would just start hitting myself. When I was in my freshman year of college and had very little support, I dealt with a broken arm for weeks before I finally saw a doctor, who I told I slipped on ice. I don't know how someone, who is control of their rages gets far enough to break their own arm, without realizing. I would also do this in psych wards when triggered, because they are naturally high stress, which got me restrained a lot. Which is why I can't do hospitals anymore. I'm too on my guard there, which lands me in situations like this.

When I started doing it in therapy, it was actually a "break through" of sorts, because I allowed myself to confront issues, which may or may not trigger it. And it allowed me to see that someone won't jump on top of me for doing it. Meaning I hold the control. It was a relief that I controlled my hurt instead of other people. i think my therapist knows as well as anyone, that if I didn't allow myself to do it there, I would wait to be triggered at home where I would be unable to control it. If I end up really wreaking havoc, which has only got near it once. My therapist will say something like "Lydia, Lydia come on, come back, you're too far". And he'll give me paper to draw with to distract me. Although me alone, or me in psych wards were unable to "just stop". I think my therapist understands this, and so he tries to catch it before it gets to that point.

I wouldn't recommend doing this in therapy, unless you've set clear boundaries with your therapist. As you can see by the above reply, some therapists won't allow it. It depends on the therapist, although it should depend on the individual.

My therapist has suggested hitting other things. I once did this with something against a tree. Smashed it to a pulp and then used the pieces to hit myself. I can't feel satisfied unless I'm doing it to myself. Do you have an OCD diagnosis? Because I always considered this as so. A compulsion to obsessive thoughts.

It's funny though that you mentioned seizures. I also have had tests for seizures, just because I would always randomly loose muscle tone and collapse. It was discovered I had narcolepsy. I also had neurological issues when I was a teenager in college, but I never followed up with the consult.