it's a very good question.....

Just a thought.....but maybe when willingness becomes automatic....it's because we have finally developed the self-respect that had been lacking when we struggle between willfulness & willingness.

I love the definitions of WILLINGNESS that they provided in my DBT group.
WILLINGNESS is:
~DOING JUST WHAT IS NEEDED in each situation, in an unpretentious way. It is focusing on effectiveness.

~listening very carefully to your WISE MIND, acting from your inner self.

~ALLOWING into awareness your connection to the universe....to the person you are talking to.

Where WILLFULNESS is:
~sitting on your hands when action is needed, refusing to make changes that are needed.

~giving up

~being ineffective instead of "doing what works"

~trying to FIX every situation

~refusing to TOLERATE the moment

Seems to me that when we are able to develop our self-respect & feel better about ourselves, then we don't try to fight life so badly & that is when willingness becomes an automatic reaction to situations.

Just a thought that popped into my mind....will be interesting to hear what others think on this topic.