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I read all the new posts and I agree with the below...you HAVE to help yourself NOBODY can follow you around in real life not just on message boards for the rest of your life and hold you hand to keep you from harms way..A T can be found you go to college right? you have a mom and dad too get some help a T would give you the attention you seek here and on the other site..But in a better way

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I agree Sleeps, thank-you so much for telling this to me. I do need help don't I? If not just for the attention seeking behaviour, I need help. I'm going to see what I can do tomorrow about getting myself on some waiting lists.

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So I came up with a middle ground cause I know you want this party....Go only IF you can go from some day until the party with NO letters to DB and on your own WORK with the PDOC..GET A T....and take any meds as rxed to you...then its like a reward to go for hard work AND others who may want to go might feel better going knowing you are WORKING and DO what you need to DO to be well and be there without acting out..Who would want to go if they had fears of you? I know some who are leery of going in fear of what you might do...If you WORKED ON IT ..I bet they would feel better and YOU would feel good having put your best foot forward..STOP work on you

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That is a very good plan Sleeps. Do you really think people will be OK with me if I really work on getting help? If so, I will do it, because I really do want to go on the trip. I'll do anything. I will not send any more e-mails to the administrator. (Can I send him admin related stuff?) I'll see about that T thing right away. I'm going to do this.

Sleeps, thank-you so much for getting started on this. You gave me the right motivation with that middle ground thing.