I wish you had posted this thread in another part of the forums, where it would recieve more attention. You can ask a moderator to move it.

I think your biggest problem is low self-esteem but it's not unlikely for you to have a personality disorder. You definitely need professional help. Is it possible for you to see a psychiatrist and/or psychotherapist?

As for the question you asked, you definitely can change yourself if you really want to imho

You said you live in Israel; just out of curiosity, are you Jewish?