I had a really really tough weekend with wanting to drink, but I'm happy to say I made it through it without drinking, so today I'm happy to report I'm 2 months sober instead of reporting another relapse.

I know 60 days isn't really all that long, and I've had other 60 day milestone's before but this one feels kind of different - in that it's the first time I've sucessfully managed to stay sober through a really intense urge when i had the opportunity to drink, so I'm kind of happy.

Rehab is ending in 3 weeks and I'm both happy and sad about that. Sad because it feels very secure and safe to me, and happy because I know I'm ready and need to move on, even though it means starting job hunting which terrifies me.

I'm also starting a social anxiety group at my psych hospital the first week in May. I know I need it as my social anxiety has been getting worse, to the point that it interferes with my personal and professional life, but I'm nervous about it. It's one morning a week for 12 weeks with daily homework, and it's supposed to be really intense. It also involves exposure therapy which I'm scared about.

But I'm trying to just stay focussed on the now, which my meditation is really helping with.

Wishing you all another 24.

--splitimage