Hey peaches,

*huge hugs* - I understand how it feels to be in a similar position of wanting so much to feel close, accepted and important to my T and then something happening to make me feel so rejected and disappointed and also then somtimes feeling angry about it, then reacting on it and regretting it. I used to do it a lot but I have managed to get it under control a bit more. For me it was part of my Borderline Personality Disorder, I don't know if you also suffer from this or not , and ive had to become aware of reacting in ways that hurt me and trying to accept the reality of the professional relationship which seems almost impossible for me at times. Also it doesn't stop these things happening either.

It does sounds a bit insensitive for your T to say that she feels she can't do anything right for you because really it's not about that, its just that you are sensitive to anything that might be seen as abandonment or perceived rejection.

The issue here isn't really about the matzoh ball and I think we all understand that, it's the fact she let you in personally to her world and offered you a piece of it in the form of this food item. That felt good. Then she ruined this feeling by first answering you in a rather cut manner by text and forgetting to bring you what she said she would - both would easily impact your feeling of importance to her and then to make it worse she made it out that she was only going to give you left overs if there was any which there wasn't. All of this really does send out the wrong message to the client and I really do think it's understandableyou feel hurt.

Possibly to her she didn't think it would be a big deal if you got a matzoh ball or not because it was just for the curiousity of tasting it but as a T I would have thought she would be tuned in to what this type of interaction would mean for a client. I don't think she really understands this.

I think you should leave the emails for now and see if she replies..she may not as she may want to talk about it in person. At the next session prepare what you want to say, maybe explain what you did in your last post and see if she can understand your feelings. It doesn't need to feel like an argument, it's just two people trying to come to a better understanding of one another.

huge huggglesss!!