I am a single mom w/a 5yr old daughter. I have been with her dad for what would have been 7 years next month. In the past 7 years we have moved some many times i can't believe it. i have been through and endured things that I never imagined that I would, all to prove how much I loved him. He was not capable of really showing love or compassion only through sex. That is basically the only time he would even touch me. He was no an emotional person. He was very distant and cold hearted. He did show our daughter love, though. So I know that he is capable of it. He has just hurt me over and over again, with no remorse for his actions. It was almost as if he was diliberately trying to make me miserable. He used me financially,physically and emotionally. I still love him,but don't understand why. How could you care for someone who put you through so much H * LL. He is not a very responsible person, he so calls himself self employed, but doesn't work enough to pay bills or even give me any money towards his daughter. We have split up several times in the past, and always got back together. When I would ask him why he was so mean he would tell me that I made him that way. I have no family to speak of and lost most of my friends. I'm looking for someone to talk to, get some advice on how to deal with this. Even though he was abusive,he's the only family I've known in 7yrs and having his daughter hurts. It will always be a reminder of him. When will the pain go away and will I ever get my self esteem back. ?