Hello, carinheart. Please print a copy of your posts for your therapist. Often opening up is easier when there is some degree of anonymity. What you say here might well help your therapist better help you out of this malaise.

You do not sound crazy. You sound like someone going through a very difficult time. Someone who needs more help than she is getting. If there is one small thing you might do to make today a better day, please consider doing it.

A day at a time; a step at a time.

Good luck.