I am so confused right now. I care about my bf a lot and everything but I don't love him like I once did...or at least thought I did. I'm %#@&#!. I'm really not worth anything.

Yes, my bf is emotionally abusive, but at least he doesn't hit me or call me terrible words on a daily basis. He just makes me feel like crap when we fight. He's sweet, kind, caring, loving, affectionate, romantic, etc. all the rest of the time. And now I've started something with someone else. No, I haven't went as far as kissing them or sleeping with them. I'm not a slut. It's just a lot of flirting and cybering so far. But I know that that's cheating. Why do I do this?

The worst part is that I feel awful about this whole thing! I don't like doing this and maybe I should break it off with this new guy before anything serious gets started. Maybe I should just say we should cool it. It's just that there is so much missing. Like me and my bf have no intimacy and it's something I desperately want. I don't know if people need intimacy or not. I guess I do, though.

I sit here alone trying to figure this whole thing out. My bf doesn't know about what I'm doing. I couldn't tell him, either.

I know I'm a bad person for doing all of this. But I guess without you thinking something terrible about me, I want some help. I NEED some help. I don't want to be yelled at or anything...just some objective help would be nice right now.