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Originally Posted by zooropa
In the interpersonal effectiveness module of the DBT skills training group we are taught to priortize relationship, objective, and self-respect. It could be that while in the past preserving the relationship was my #1 priority, that has shifted and taken a back seat to preserving my self-respect.
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Zooropa, I don't see why one would have to give up one's self respect in order to preserve an important relationship. In any relationship worth having, both people respect each other and can respect themselves for their conduct in the relationship. I think you should be able to have a strong T relationship
AND keep your self respect. They are not mutually exclusive! I would like to see you talk about this with your T. I think most Ts would not want their clients to give up their self respect in order to have a relationship with them. Do you think there is a chance at all that your T would want you to keep your self respect yet maintain the relationship? Zoo, you are the one who is making the inauthentic concessions to your T in the name of relationship. No one is doing that to you. That's good news, in a way, because you can stop that if you want.
Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
In the interpersonal effectiveness module of the DBT skills training group we are taught to priortize relationship, objective, and self-respect.
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Just wanted to add that I can see this set of priorities easily leading to being a doormat in a relationship (not necessarily you with your T, but in general in a friendship, a romantic relationship, etc.). I think it's kind of a dangerous path, as the person can wake up one day and find themselves taken advantage of, abused, etc. So if that is the order of priorities, I think one must maintain some vigilance to keep things in balance. (Perhaps this is one of the skills you learn in DBT.) My own thought is that one shouldn't "settle" for the sort of relationship in which one loses one's self respect (been there, done that!).
Good luck, Zoo.
