Hi Jen,

I have come to have a lot of respect for you, for a number of reasons; honesty tops the list I think.

Yes, my teenage years were like yours. The best word for it in my view is 'alienation'. Of course there is normal teenage rebellion, and then there is something much darker and lonelier, when we have lost respect for a parent due to certain behaviour.

In extreme cases I think that the young person is morally outraged at cruelty they see and suffer, cruelty which is publicly hidden of course.

As you rightly say, our outrage becomes transferred onto all authority figures and that is when the trouble really starts. I believe that there are plenty of kids in Jail as a direct result of a parent or parents cruelty. The film 'Buffalo 66' recounts a story of this type. It's a painful film but worth watching.

At some point in our lives an authority figure, or someone important to us gets through and we can start the 'long walk back' as my counsellor used to say. If that doesn't happen, we have to just parent ourselves; we have to actually become our own parent and take hold of our lives. This is what good therapists can help us do.

So, IMHO it is a case of 1) I have been difficult 2) Why have I been difficult? 3) Now I'm going to do something about it.

Of course we are still not perfect, or perfectly well, but we can make something of our lives, starting from the ground up. It is worth it.

At least we are not sleepwalking through life; we have really had to learn to live it!

Good thoughts, Jen

M