Hey. I want you to know that I do accept you and like you just the way you are. You don't have to change at all. If you stay just as you are now I will like you just as much as I do now which is to say that I'll keep on liking you a whole heap :-)

And in DBT... Your therapist should know that they need to be able to accept you just the way you are. And also... That you will feel a whole heap happier if you are able to accept yourself just the way you are.

Sometimes... Distress can be hard.

When people tell you to get a therapist... I think that what they see is that sometimes you are really distressed and they believe that a therapist will help you so that you won't feel so distressed so often.

But for you. You need to do it for you. Not for anybody else. If you do it for somebody else - because they told you to or because you are afraid they won't be your friend if you don't do it then the therapy won't be of any use to you. It needs to be something that you do for you.

gg is right. It won't change your personality. It won't change you into a different person. Just like how nobody on the boards can get you to change unless you want to no therapist will be able to change a single thing about you unless you want to change it.

What a therapist should be able to do, however, is help you change the things you want to change.

So maybe have a bit of a think...
Maybe start with the things you like about yourself.
:-)
I think it is good to remember those. To think about those.
And then think of some things that you might like to change (if only you knew how).
Like... How to feel less distressed.
A therapist can't make you do anything you don't want to do.
But a good therapist should accept you.
And that... Helps. :-)
It helps me when I feel like a person has accepted me
:-)
Just the way I am.
Because then I start thinking that maybe I am a good and likeable person after all.
And you are a good and likeable person just the way you are.
It is just that sometimes you seem to be in a lot of pain.
And I wish that was different...
Because it is hard to see people in pain when you care about them.
Like how it was hard for you to see hammie sick when he wasn't well and you were going to take him to the vets.
When you get distressed it is hard for me and I wish I could take you to a therapist.

> I want to be less distressed all the time, but I don't want to change my personality.

Sure thing. Therapy... Is just about helping you with the things you want help with. Your therapist can't make it magically all better... But then your therapist can't make you magically all different either ;-)

> I don't want to change how I interact with others. I will change that myself, if I want to. I don't want change forced upon me.

Sure thing. I don't like people 'doing things to me' either. That was the problem I had with CBT. It was change change change oriented. And I resisted that. In the same way you are. Nobody is going to change me! But when someone accepted me for who I was right now... I started seeing that there were some fairly specific things I would like to be different. I would like to feel less distressed. I would like to have more friends IRL. I would like to feel less anxious. I would like to attend more classes. Those kinds of things. Just what you want to change.

Because there are two options:

acceptance and change

and the choice... is up to you.
but it is just that sometimes we can't see *how* to change. and that is when other people... and therapises... can give us a hand. so we aren't forced into acceptance. we have *more* choices.

i think that... is what it is supposed to be about.