((( BIG HUGS )))

Just wanted to check in to let you all know that I am still here. I haven't been online much due to my health issues. I'm officially on short term disability, although I've been so sick that I haven't been able to complete the paperwork or get it to my doctor's office yet. *sigh*

T was away for a couple weeks, and I found myself comfortable in my own personal shield. I realized that I was reverting back to shutting off my emotions, which I know doesn't lead me to fulfillment - but it sure felt relieving at the time. I went through a period right after T left for vacation shifting to feeling angry towards him (not for going on vacation - but for other reasons) to being ok and relieved by him being gone.

We reconnected when he got back towards the end of last week, and it was a decent session. He felt that we made some progress now that I'm on disability...as prior to that, he felt that I was coming in just for support. We are hopeful that with me being on disability, I can recoup the energy needed to start doing more deep introspective work. I hope I can do that, although at the moment, it feels impossible with how badly I'm feeling, physically. We'll see.

Other than that, I'm overwhelmed with other pressing things and am frustrated that I feel so unwell to be able to tackle them. I hope that it changes soon so that I get some value out of being out of work for a little while. I need this time to work towards feeling better and regaining my health and energy.