I think, because of the intensity, that I would not call, would look at it as something to work out within myself, that I would see some sort of red flag going on in my own stuff that I needed to work on that had nothing to do with the other person.

I would transfer my thinking about him into a different category, think of him as the owner of a dry cleaner, for example (soup nazi? :-) and that I just didn't want to do business with him but that the feelings that were stirred up in me were valuable for me to look at (but not "in relation" to him; he's just a catalyst/trigger).