lyib - this is obviously a huge issue for you. Please talk to your current T about it.

You seem a bit unclear what you hope to accomplish by a phone call to previous T. Can you imagine all the various scenarios of that contact? Would one phone call really resolve the pain you're undergoing? I agree with the others - it is probably unwise to contact him.

But, with discussion with your current T, maybe the two of you will eventually see a therapeutic value in it. And then with T's support and agreement, and only then, should you go forth in making contact.