The matzoh balls and the flowers, these are the triggers. You can focus on these and analyze and analyze until you drive yourself crazy. It is a circle and it is hard to get off. What you could focus on that would help you is "What are these triggers reminding me of from my parents"? Focusing on these root causes is what is going to get you some mileage. These are the issues which need to be focused on which will actually get you somewhere. The flowers and the mahzoh balls will not get you anywhere. Go to the source, the seed of the issues.

I can be upset about the dandelion out in my yard and choose to just keep addressing the flowers that keep growing on it, pulling them off each time. That dandelion isn't going to go away at all until I pull it up by the root.