Hey Numpty,

My heart goes out to you. I remember the pain of being in the closet about being queer (in my case, bisexual and transgender). I am lucky, I live somewhere where it is relatively safe to be 'out', though my family could not tolerate it.

I know it's hard to be in the closet, but given that you are in the middle east, you need to be conscious of your safety, too. I don't know what country you are in, but some even give the death penalty for being gay.

The bottom line is, take care of yourself. You are not alone, not even in the middle east. Two of my friends who are also gay are from your region, one is from Iran and another is from Iraq. Also know that you are not sick, nor disgusting nor wrong for being you. It's also not a choice.

Down the road, there may be options for you, such as making your way to a Western country where homosexuality is accepted. I know it's hard now, but it's true, it gets better!