Hang in there poetgirl.....when I first started the whole identifying feelings in therapy, I had a list of feelings and found the one that seemed to fit the best. It sounds weird, but I spent a lot of time with the dictionary trying to define what was going on. When we are taught not to feel or not to express emotion, we never learn how to identify what's going on and what it "should" feel like. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I still resort to a dictionary and thesaurus when something is happening and I don't have the vocabulary to explain it. Sometimes I think it is safer to feel numb, but my T says if I don't allow myself to feel bad feelings - I miss out on the opportunity to feel the good ones.