Hang in there poetgirl.....when I first started the whole identifying feelings in therapy, I had a list of feelings and found the one that seemed to fit the best. It sounds weird, but I spent a lot of time with the dictionary trying to define what was going on. When we are taught not to feel or not to express emotion, we never learn how to identify what's going on and what it "should" feel like. I don't know if any of this makes sense. I still resort to a dictionary and thesaurus when something is happening and I don't have the vocabulary to explain it. Sometimes I think it is safer to feel numb, but my T says if I don't allow myself to feel bad feelings - I miss out on the opportunity to feel the good ones.

This is an issue I am working on as well. In my family of origin, emotions were not encouraged. Expressing negativity often resulted in rejection, ridicule, or punishment. As children, we became conditioned NOT to feel. Stuffing emotions often results in somatizing. Your body will express those repressed emotions through physical maladies such as IBS, heart palpitations, etc. Poetgirl-it's encouraging that you are beginning to feel...keep at it.

I'm sorry you're feeling so "off"! I'm having body problems too, probably caused by anxiety and stuffing back feelings as well - and it hurts and it's really annoying and scary!

Feeling your feelings is hard, naming those feelings is hard, allowing yourself to have those feelings is hard... but it does get easier!