It's funny you mentioned that, LMo, because I've just been realizing that I really want to live on my own right now. I mean, I know I've wanted that, but the desire has become more intense. I don't have time to say everything I want to, and I should start another post when I do, but I can't control my eating when I have to cook for another person, and while I appreciate the things my boyfriend contributes (money, helping me with some things, etc.), I don't want to play housewife. I want my own place, make my own rules, and do everything on my own time, you know?

But that requires a lot of changes I can't make yet. It's stressful and depressing.

Sorry, not trying to change the direction of the topic or steal the focus from you, wi_fighter. Just need to vent a bit, and don't have the time I need to do it.

My boyfriend has a cold, so not only will I probably not get out this weekend, but I have to do a bunch of things (partially related to OCD, but not completely) to try to keep myself from catching his cold, like using disinfectant wipes on faucets and surfaces repeatedly, wiping containers, trying to not wash my dishes after washing his with the same sponge (I just switched to a new sponge not long ago, because he recently got over a previous cold!), and it's all stressful. I just want to relax.

On another note, I was just thinking again about the fact that a guy my bf is friends with at work is the same guy who helped us move from our previous apartment, and apologized to my boyfriend because he'd thought I'd overheard him (I hadn't, but my boyfriend told me later) say I should "get off of [my] fat ***" and help them move furniture out of the apt. (I had done a lot, and it was HELL on my OCD--lots of touching dirty things and cleaning up and long washing rituals, and I'd been working in our new apt.--I wasn't lazy! I was put through the emotional ringer! And I can't lift heavy furniture--I'm short and not very strong.) This isn't the first time my bf hasn't supported me--and sometimes he does, but not always--but I feel insulted that he remains friends with this guy. And maybe I'm paranoid, but I'm pretty sure my bf talks about me to him and/or others, because my bf once said years ago that he'd probably talk about me when we broke up, like he talks to me about his ex from time to time.

Again, sorry, I just needed to vent...please don't stop talking about wi_figher's issues. I should have started another topic, but I just got off on a tangent here.