I'm so disappointed in myself. I used to be a regular smoker. I smoked very little, like two or three times a WEEK, but regularly. Then I quit and I promised my beloved karate teacher who is a very pure and healthy person (in every way) that I would never smoke a cigarette again. I've broken that promise several times though. Well, not several times but quite a few times. The last time was the night before last. It was raining and I was out in the yard and smoking without a care in the world and it felt so right at the time. It feels wrong only when I'm with my karate teacher and only because SHE's such a good and healthy and nice person and I feel guilty about breaking my promise to her. I feel terribly like smoking right now, but I don't want to go back to being my lousy self and it's so effing difficult to resist the urge!