My heart goes out to you on the loss of your mother, and on the stresses you're experiencing at home.

I gotta agree with JustBen a bit, that you don't know how your father is feeling, what's going on with him, and might want to offer him some of the acceptance you'd like from him. Does that make sense? You can think of it as modeling the Golden Rule, if you like: you're doing unto him, etc.

And as for how to deal with his not understanding you, this comes from someone who gets the "what are you depressed about? You have to be depressed *about* something..." from her family. I really do understand. My suggestion is both to review your expectations, and to help him find the information that might help you both.

In terms of expectations, maybe you could look at what you want from him. Are you asking for help with adjusting to life with a diagnosis that isn't quite familiar to you? Or are you asking him to help you grieve for your mother's death? Are you asking him to be 100% behind you even at the expense of his needs? Maybe if you can clarify your expectations, you can help both of you.

Are you in any sort of treatment? Seeing a therapist? Anything like that? Has he had any sort of grief counseling? Most men won't think of that and won't admit that they need it -- but they do. Getting him into a group might help both of you more than anything else. Getting YOU into therapy is also likely to help a lot.

And as for getting information to your father, with my Family Member, I've printed out articles and left them beside her plate when she stays with me. I doubt she reads them, but at least I can deflect things later: "Hm? Wasn't that covered in the article I gave you last time you were here? What didn't you understand about the article, maybe I can help make it clearer for you?" Not a perfect solution, but it's worth well enough for me so far.

Oh, and I forgot to ask: how old are you? If you're under 18 and in the US, there are places you can get help, and someone here can maybe help you find them.