it does sound similar to my drinking years ago. AA has an apt saying, one is too many and a thousand not enough. you could go to an AA meeting and see if you can identify with the people there. it sounds like you would. "problem" drinkers can get help there too. just a suggestion mind you. i couldn't control my drinking either and the problem got bigger and bigger. AA saved my life-21 years sober. i could have never stopped drinking like you describe without their help. today i'm happy joyous and free.  free from the bondage of alcoholism.
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Do not let your fire go out, spark by irreplaceable spark, in the hopeless swamps of the approximate, the not-quite, the not-yet, the not-at-all. Do not let the hero in your soul perish, in lonely frustration for the life you deserved, but have never been able to reach. Check your road and the nature of your battle.
The world you desired can be won. It exists, it is real, it is possible, it is yours..~Ayn Rand
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