the fighting and the thoughts are probably causing pain all right!
surrender would no doubt help but why isn't surrender easier......
I am not worried about my parents not loving me....I know they do and will anyway. I am more concerned I think with the people around me.....concerned about being hurt by them if I am so vulnerable. And concerned about being hurt again by T if I do happen to surrender to tears in session.....rationally I know she won't hurt me, she will probably cry with me, yet I am so unaccustomed to crying in front of anyone I don't even know how to at all.....