Quote:
Originally Posted by Suratji
Have you been able to name your feelings? not exactly, besides anxious, afraid, angry, I know those!
Do you know if they're directed to anything specific?this darn garage sale is not helping matters, I will feel better when it's over. but that is not really it, there is more, things that I am grieving but not letting myself name it as grief or acknowledge it as a loss worthy of grieving, not letting myself be sad or sorrowful......so my body I think is acting out the pain by physically feeling it (altho I DO have an irregular rhythm the dr gave me a beta blocker for today....)
How does having your feelings make you vulnerable? let's see.....it exposes me, my soft side, my unarmored side where the arrows will pierce and there will be more pain....
Will you/do you act differently with the feelings? I feel more unstable.....more real but more unstable.....
When you weren't having these feelings, what was your life like?
|
It seemed peaceable......but was not actually, not better, because I had moments like this and just pushed them away, stuffed the intensity away where it didn't hurt. Now I simply can't deny them or deny the intensity, but am having greater pain than I ever have had (and thought I had had a lot.....
) because I do not know how to just be with the emotions and the intensity and how to surrender without being sunk. I keep sinking.....