Quote:
Originally Posted by zooropa
called her and left a message. I fail at life. 
some of the things she said that are going around in my head: that she has never encountered this before in her career. That it's not me calling for coaching that's a problem, it's me calling to check if she's still there, or me asking if it's ok to call her. My need for reassurance is "draining" and "damaging the relationship". That she was working hard on not being sarcastic. She didn't realize it before because once I leave her office someone else comes in and she's focused on them and then when she goes home she's focused on home. It's ok for me to have needs but I have to know that people aren't obligated to meet those needs.
I'm angry/sad/angry/sad/angry/sad right now. |
It sounds like your T doesn't have good boundaries. She should have never said you can call her if you need to or want to. That is not realistic. If she tells all her patients that, she will surely burn out. No wonder you need reassurance from her because she says it's ok, but behaves differently. You probably sense that and test her to see what's true. I don't know, but i have gone through similar things with my previous T years ago. I burned her out and she lost it with me on a few occasions. But, today we have a great relationship even though she terminated me almost 10 yrs ago.
With my current T, if i call it's for coaching and I show her that i am willing to do what it takes to get myself out of crisis mode. I think therapists need to feel that they are helping, and they get frustrated and feel helpless when nothing seems to help. I'm not saying that we need to take care of our therapists, but it's just simply true that they are motivated to help when they feel that they can and do help.