I'm in a very, very similar situation as you....
I really have no advice or words of wisdom because I have no idea how to deal with it myself(I actually just posted a few down...), but you are not alone!
The one thing I try not to do is force memories...I have one particular flashback that comes back over and over...and I analyze it driving myself insane(like what room was I in, how tall was the person, what did they sound like, etc), but really it gets me nowhere. I'm afraid I might just have to find a way to get over it without ever knowing the details...but I'm not sure how to go about that.
Anyway....you are not alone. You can always PM me if you want to talk, I'm new here too