For me, there are two dynamics going on, perhaps analygous to tectonic plates colliding. One dynamic is the need for assurance the person is lovable, an overarching concern the product of past abandonments. The other is a reaction to a perceived threat to the therapist's self-concept of her competency.

The viability of the connection between the patient and client is critical to achieving a good result. In my view, the connection here has been irretrievable broken.

Some of my therapists once having recognized a break has occurred simply said so and got up and left. I am somewhat surprised your therapist has not withdrawn.

What I think is critical, zooropa, is for you to try very hard to understand the importance of seeing what happened as a client/therapist connection problem and not as an affirmation of your already beleaguered sense of self-worth.