Last friday morning my buddy and roommate took xanax and alcohol. And so I wake up to this stranger from school in my bedroom...asking if it's okay to carry my friend to her bed. uuurrggghh o0;

As it turns out, he drove her to home in her car...now he wants to crash here...but can't sleep on the couch, wants to crash next to her in bed...wtf. Says he talked with her about it earlier, but when I ask her, she answers "no way". Terrific. She's barly awake. I didn't know enough to call 911. That's a lie...I did, but I was too scared of..consequneces? Freakin sucks man. I feel guilty cuz she coulda died. I had to drive this dude back to where he lives, almost got lost and almost ran outta gas.

In the morning I get into a fight...a lot of B.S. exchanged....and then nothing-ness between us for a few days until just yesturday, we both admitted to each other that neither one of us wanted to lose the other.

However....one of her great statements was "this is nothing" the **** it is! That was so freaking traumatic, I almost lost my best friend and my lack of action does not help my guilt...and I think my T is gonna lecture me tomarrow...uuuggghhh. I am sooooo freakin detached from the world right now, and sooo ****ing angry

She doesn't care about herself, so can really care about what I went through...blames my co-dependency, says I'm controlling. **** this **** lol