Hi HalfSwede; I can identify. I still think about (or ruminate, my first shrink's favorite word) over unkind comments one or the other parent said to me as a child. I have a whole list I could probably rattle off, and my sister does too.

I have tried to tell myself that, at the time, a parent might not realize just how hurtful a particular statement can be to a child, and just how long that hurt can linger.

And I think you're right; the hurt does get passed from one generation to the next. It's a tough cycle to break. I'm trying to break it with my own kids.