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I think that the difference between manipulating and getting your needs met is how open you are about what you are doing. Yes, manipulating is for getting your needs met but manipulating isn't being open about what you are doing. It is best to be open about getting your needs met.
Have you frequently felt ashamed of your feelings and not just about your feelings of love for your T?
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Don't let your problems or the world make you feel small. Stretch your arms out over your head. Take a deep breathe. Tell yourself that you are big. You are big, not small. You always have space, you are not trapped........
I'm an ISFJ
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