hmmm...interesting. I really think your being very hard on yourself. I'm not exactly sure on how you feel, but I can tell you with a bad self esteem it does have a major impact on serious decision making.

I think in order for you to discover who you are and what you want in life, you'll have to fully accept yourself. Then discovering yourself will come along in that process.

Whatever you prefer, man, woman, both.....whatever it is, you'll be okay.

I really hope you get it all figured out for yourself. I think everybody who questions their sexuality goes through this intense confusion.

You'll get it, and then be happy with it.......good luck.
Desirae