Hope4joy: I didn't mean I should apologize for loving her, but for insisting on an answer when I know (though I don't understand) her boundaries about emails. Yes, I am trying to accept what is. I needed the reality check from all of you to do it, though.

Butterflying, yes, focusing so much on my T has been my problem--always!

granite, you have a good memory! You remember what my T said better than I do. Thanks. I'm enjoying my grandchildren very much!

78, yes, I do know that my T accepts me and all of my parts. I've always known that. I just couldn't help wishing that, after being so vulnerable in my emails, she could just write me back something reassuring. I don't see why that would hurt me but apparently she thinks it would spiral into more and more "therapy via email." I honestly just wanted an "it's okay" this time, but oh, well.

Perna, I think I get it. I need to talk about my relationship with her in person, but it's okay to talk about my family with her via email. I understand the reasoning but I don't like it.