Quote:
Originally Posted by Elana05
When we have strong emotions regarding T, even though they are painful, they are opportunities for growth. Sometimes it is the things that seem "little" that make the helpful things to experience in therapy. IMHO nothing is too small. When I first went in to see my therapist I had issues regarding how the shades were drawn in her office. (I like the shades closed but she has plants that get in the way. When she chooses her plants over me, I feel hurt). I am still working on issues with this. These smaller things represent larger things in our lives and by working on these "smaller" things we are really giving ourselves the opportunity to work on the "larger" things. Everything that brings up strong emotion with your T is good to discuss, though again not always easy. That's how I feel about it.
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Elana05,
I think i know what you're getting at. . .do you mean that the event that gets us upset or hurt might be a small thing -- but it's what that event makes us feel inside that brings up our issues? Like with you wanting the shades drawn and t doesn't do it -- does it remind you of other times in your life when something was really important to you, but the other person just did what they wanted to anyway?
When t says or does something that feels like I'm not important to her, i get physical sensations and emotional pain that hit, and i think, "OW, that hurts! I feel like i don't mean anything to her." It seems that, in the moment, the problem is what t said or did. It doesn't come into my mind that i might be reacting to the past because when t hurts my feelings and I react, I'm not thinking about the past. I just notice the awful emotions and physical sensations I get. This makes it very hard for me to know if my reactions are coming from the past. It's usually not until I notice the same things keep happening over and over and over, and they always cause me to feel unimportant, that I think there must be something more causing my reaction that just what my t says or does.
What i find weird, though, is that when i think about my parents ignoring me, i don't feel the same despair i do when i think t is ignoring me. If my reaction to t isn't truly about t -- but is about my relationship with my parents instead -- then why don't i feel those same awful physical sensations and emotions when i think about what my parents did???
