I have a dysfunctional mother. She didn't say cruel things like that to me, but she did yell at me a lot, sometimes over natural things a kid would do, not knowing there was anything wrong. And I've picked up bad behavior patterns from this--when I get scared or pressured, I can explode, much like my mother used to with me. I remember a time when my brother and I found a dead mouse or small rat. My brother wrapped the tail around the handlebars on my tricycle and put my little hand on top to hold our "treasure" while we took it home to show mom. Well, mom blew up at me, spanked me, and hauled me off to scrub my hand raw, to eliminate the "germs". This is one of my earliest memories--I must have been very young. How much better if she had just gently said, "It's not good to pick up dead things, they might have germs. Let's bury the mousie after we wash your hands."