Zoo,
I am just catching up now. I am so sorry that you had this experience. I know it can be heartbreaking to have these ruptures with t. I am glad that you put that phone app on because I totally get the urge and impulsivity that goes with calling t. You will preserve your self respect with doing that.

I know that your t cares very much about you and like others say she is first and foremost a human and then your therapist. Now that does not take the sting out of this by any means or the betrayal! I just want you to tell yourself that your t does care even though it doesn't feel that way now.

This something that both of you can grow with on the limit setting. Her for setting and enforcing them and you for learning to know when to find other ways of coping so not to burn her out. I know this is hard because I experience it myself.

I don't want to ramble on and on, I just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and hope you are coping in a safe way.