Right. I can get either really angry or really sad. So there's got to be a third way, just step back from whatever the situation is, take a deep breath.

My mom was also very sad. Her parents never said anything nice to her. Her solution was to just bury herself in work, not talk about it. When I tried to tell her how I was feeling, she'd say, "You think you've got problems?" That was probably her way of saying she did, in fact, want to talk, but couldn't.

I'm sorry your mom hauled off on you like that.