Welcome to the forums. It's really lousy that your folks can't give you what you need and sometimes give you a lot of what you don't need. (The thing about your stepfather and wearing pink seems bizarre to me.) Like desirae said, though, there isn't a lot you can do about parents. They need their own help, and until they're willing to get it, there isn't anything you can do to fix them. Try to keep in mind that you won't live with them forever. (Although, I know how long even a couple of years can seem.)

I can understand the trust issues, and I can't say I know enough about your particular neck of the woods to offer any specific advice, but you might just want to ask your school counselor what their confidentiality policy is like...he or she might be able to hook you up with someone who can help without blabbing to your parents about everything.