I'm worried about that, too. I really am. and I've reached the point of complete skills break down. Yes I'm sure part of me wants to push her to end it so I can say she did it. And part of me wants to make her uncomfortable because I am so uncomfortable right now and I feel like it's her fault. And part of me hopes that she will be the t I want to believe she is, and give me a way to feel better about this.

I'm not really sure what I said in my messages. That I wasn't home because I don't feel like I can be safe at home alone right now. That my son is angry and saying hurtful things and it's hard to not take it to heart because it just feels like more proof that I am a horrible, awful person. That I know she doesn't want to talk about this on the phone but making me wait until next week feels cruel and I hope that she can help me and I hope that she WILL help me. And that I would really appreciate a call back.

I don't know if she will call and I don't know how I will feel if she does or if she doesn't.