Hey Zoo,

we know your going through a lot of pain right now, many of us know what it's also like to feel the frantic desperation. But you need to try and breathe for a second, step back from the situation and maybe think what advice you would give someone else if they were in your position.

Your therapist obviously cares for you a lot. The fact she rang back and tried to let you know that she was still there for you, not going to quit on you etc is all extremely positive. I know things havent been good with her lately but the fact she said those things shows that she is trying to help.

Imagine for a second that one of your children rang you in desperation, telling you something so important to them, they were in real trouble etc...would you not want to help them face to face....this is partly were I think your therapist is coming from...the phone contact at the moment isnt healthy ( i know you already know that) and thats why she was probably right to say she didnt want to talk about things on the phone...but i do understand how hurtful it must have felt when she hung up.

I have been a self harmer, I rarely do it now but cutting yourself doesn't punish her, it wont make her want to rescue you any more than she does already, it just hurts you more. You say you dont have a choice but you do.......stop the crash and burn from happening.... I know you can do it

If you need immediate help go to a walk in centre, your mental health centre if your resgistered, maybe A&E...talk to someone hun