I'm too tired to respond to the rest of the replies now, but I wanted to say that I just emailed my T that I'm sorry for crossing her boundaries and that I will try to do better. I said I got help from my PC friends about it. I told her I know what her rules are, and that I HATE the boundaries, but I have to accept them. I said I hoped she wasn't too angry or frustrated with me.

I feel a lot better now. Usually she emails me by now so I expect she didn't know what to say without hurting me. I know she cares about me very much! She doesn't have many rules so I need to abide by them. I will probably have to talk again, in session, about the emails, but I don't want her to stop answering them. That thought makes me very sad. I realize I was expecting too much from her, and that "love" is something I need to discuss face to face with her. Thanks to all of you for helping me when I asked.