I feel that I give my therapist a lot during our sessions. That may be why I don't feel the need to give him material gifts at holidays or other times. I think my gifts are the intimate moments we share, my willingness to have a strong and connected relationship, to share deeply, to be authentic, to be honest and direct, to think the best of him and his efforts to help me and not make negative assumptions about what he may be thinking without asking for clarification--all that good stuff!! There have also been moments when he shared something with me and I gave him my empathy and a few times my tears. (And he has said, "thank you for your empathy" so I know he appreciates it.) I also have told him how much he has helped me and made a difference in my life, or what specific thing he did or words he said that really helped me. (I have also told him what things have not been helpful. ) I don't always do these things perfectly or with grace, but we do have some fine, fine moments, and these are my gifts to him.

I don't really set out to do these things thinking that I must do them in order to help my T learn and grow. I do them for the sake of our relationship and because I feel close to him and respect him. I would want to do these things for anyone I had such a strong relationship with.