Well, in my (mind you, non-professional) opinion, whether behavior is 'abuse' has everything to do with the intention behind it. If your parents are putting down your decisions because they are sincerely worried about you, that would be very different than them trying to chip away at your self-confidence because of their own insecurities about letting go of parental control over you. As to your boyfriend... I'm guessing that he has some redeeming qualities, but all you've mentioned so far are things that would make me NOT want to marry him. Especially about the cats... But whether he is abusive... it depends - do you get angry or upset with him when he wakes you up, or do you laugh with him? If he keeps doing stuff like that despite you asking him not to, then it it's disrespectful at the least and abuse at the worst. But it would take more than just that for ME to suspect abuse. Does he insult or humiliate you?

He doesn't sound like a very respectful guy, at any rate, though.

I can relate to your confusion about your parents, I want to say. My dad has objected to every single guy I've ever dated. Yeah, when I was 12-15, the boyfriends I had were jerks, but I'm 36 now, and I dated some really great guys before I got married. No, they weren't perfect, but they were good to me and I would be thrilled if most of them wanted to date my best friend or future daughter (which is my litmus for whether my dad was 'right' or not). At some point, I learned to trust my own judgement above my dad's, although I do try to take his opinion into consideration.