Hi....my family has alot of depression in it. My brother supports my sister who is severely bi-polar and other things. Your brother needs to look into govt. help like medicaid, low income housing, and food banks. If he's too depressed, let the girlfriend help "them" find help. He's not alone, he has her. I know you feel like if you don't help, you don't love him or care, but sometimes helping too much is just being co-dependent and not in reality helping him. Threatening suicide is emotional blackmail and dishonest. I feel for you, it is a tough situation. Set boundries, get support from somewhere for YOUR emotions...take care of YOU first, if you are retiring, make sure you have enough money for YOUR needs above all else. Best to you!