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I've been dating this guy for 9 months and have been frustrated with him off and on the whole time. Tried to break up with him a couple times, but I took him back.
At the start I was thinking this guy is a little negative, tough shell, he had a rough childhood and never learned some relationship skills, has no filter on his mouth - just says what he thinks. *shrugs shoulders* Hey, we all have our flaws. But now I'm seeing an escalation in things and I'm seeing that he really is being...abusive.
He withholds affection unless sex is involved.
When hugging, he always lets go first.
He never kisses me. I know, weird right? Seriously, very rare if ever.
He constantly criticizes me and things I do or don't do.
If I criticize him or complain about anything, he gets pissed and tries to give me the silent treatment.
Says he was diagnosed bi-polar but doesn’t think he really is and won’t take any meds.
When I busted him texting one of his ex-girlfriends, I decided he was only Mr. Right Now, “fine, I’ll talk to other guys, too” and find someone else to move on with. Well, he busted me on a first date with the first guy I met. So ever since then, the trust issue is always MY fault.
He denies ever doing anything wrong. Always brings it back to something I did wrong.
He's insanely jealous, paranoid that I'm talking to other men, convinced I even still have feelings for my ex-husband.
He snoops through my caller id and cell phone all the time. Grills me if he sees a "suspicious" name or number.
By the same token, he has his cell phone password-protected.
He snoops through my Internet browsing history, freaks out if I ever delete it.
He freaked out on me when I posted pics of his cat, him, us on my Facebook page.
He started hiding his friends list on Facebook. Then he created a whole new Facebook account and won’t add me as a friend to it.
He drinks constantly and often heavily, in addition to pot smoking and pill popping.
He has no job. Disabled from military. Can’t hold a job anyway. Thus always broke.
If I ever say no to sex, which is very rare, he accuses me of “getting it somewhere else”.
Recently, he was drunk one night and said “Maybe it’s time for you to move on.” I questioned him about it the next day and he said he was just “clowning.” Wtf?
That same night, we were in bed and he climbed on me (to have sex) and wrapped his arms around my neck and back then squeezed really hard until it hurt. I yelped and he got off me. Ever since my back has been messed up again.
There’s probably a lot of other things. The good does not outweigh the bad here. So I’ve decided to end it. But I am afraid of confrontation with him and of my own weakness. This morning before he left I asked him to give my spare house key back, just said I needed it in case I lock myself out. That made him mad, he threw the key on the counter and stormed around the house collecting a few things he had left there and took it all with him out the door.
This afternoon he texts me asking if I’m going to see him tonight. I say actually I’m really tired, I’ll see how I feel, will call you after work. He responds with, “You want to be alone? Right.” So anyway, I have to call him sometime tonight and make this the end of it. He's already been trying to call and text me while I'm at work because he's mad and knows something is up. I’m scared of the whole situation and a little nervous that he could be unstable enough to bother me or make trouble for me. Even though I’m embarrassed about the whole thing, I’ve made sure to tell a couple friends what’s going on so I have people to call if I need help.
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