I am 50 yrs old & I have struggled with depression since I was a teenager, then in my 20's I was in an abusive marriage & had 2 children & suffered severe depression. I was but on Pamalor at the time & the depression subsided but never went away. I have always felt there was something wrong wih me, but my friends & people I knew would say I was a very smart person & why not snap out of it. I tried, read ever self help book & therapy but nothing worked. By the time I was in my 40's I was in my 2nd marriage, he was an alcholic....then my mother passd away, I found out that I was pregnant at 41, my husband became very abusive during my pregnacy, my father died & my world just crashed to the ground. I was hospitalized for the 1st time because I was theatning suicide. There I found out that I was biplor. I started seeing phyciatrist that put me on meds but didn't address the biplor. After a while things seem to be going a lot better & I quit my meds....what a big mistake. 2 more hospital stays & finding a wonderful phyciatrist that I have been with for 3 yrs I am just now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. However, I also have fibromyalgia & ADD. I haven't worked since 2007 & am on disability. From the outside people looking in don't think anything is wrong...my 7 yr old is an honor student that always gets awards, plays baseball & is in cub scouts.....but I hate to admit it that it is still a struggle to make it through the day most days....I am no longer suicidal & haven't been for a long time & I thank God for that & my faith in him that better days are ahead...I why I am telling my story is that I want to know who other people with biplor live & cope