So this girl I have dated for almost two months and I broke up Monday. Everything went smooth, we met through a mutual friend. We had good chemistry from the get go. Talked about future goals and plans together. She has a two year old daughter and I have a three year old son. Things seemed perfect. We had so much in common it was unbelievable. I never knew I could connect with someone so quickly. She is very independent, having her own place and car at the age of 22. She was everything I was looking for.

Then, Sunday night we were drinking rum. I went home for an hour and when I came back to her place she said she was tired and wanted to sleep. I asked her if she was serious because I wanted to drink still and stay up and watch movies. It was 12:30AM but I was not thinking about that.

Anyways I told her I was going to leave hoping she would want me to stay (I did that once before and she said she would never ask me to stay). Again, was not thinking straight (probably the rum). She got hostile and said fine just go then. I immediately said okay I don't want to go and poured another drink. I then became rude with her when she continued to ask me to leave. I accused her of talking to other guys on Facebook (even though I know she wasn't and they were just commenting her statuses). I broke down and told her of my past suicidal ideations that I once had (in retrospect, what was I thinking!?!?) I even showed her my phone at one point and threw it next to her on the couch. She told me to leave and that she would drive me home. I refused saying I'd walk. I walked away and she went inside. I followed after her a few minutes later. Inside it was the same (her telling me she was going to drive me home and she didn't feel like hanging out tonight). I kept saying I didn't want to go and that I wanted to sleep there with her that night. She said once she didn't love me but when I took it hard she immediately said 'well maybe I didn't mean that.' Shortly after I told her to just call an ambulance or the cops knowing that she wouldn't call either one. Finally she drove me home around 4AM saying she would call me when she woke up.

I went to sleep and woke up at 9AM and couldn't go back to sleep. I got her favorite breakfast from Einstein Bagels and went to her place to give it to her. She accused me of guilt tripping her and stated that she was upset I woke her up. She told me to leave and take my food with me. She said she would call me and for me not to come over. I was just saddened by the way I acted the night before. That whole day I couldn't sleep and could only think of her. About 5 o'clock I figured she would be up so I went over with a dozen pink roses to apologize. She would not answer her door so I knocked on her window of the bedroom with no luck. I eventually went back home with the roses. She texted our mutual friend a few minutes later saying that I was scaring her. My friend called me to tell me this and suggested I stay away from her. I texted her and told her I didn't mean to scare her and that I was truly sorry about the night before and to call me whenever she wanted. I told her I would never act that way again because I lost the best thing in my life.

I truly meant that. That was Monday and I still have not heard from her since. I want to contact her and get back with her so bad. I can't get her out of my head and its distracting me from my daily routine. I know that absence makes the heart grow fonder and if it was meant to be she would contact me. But I am also afraid of out of sight out of mind. I don't want to lose her. I was thinking about texting her next week to find out how she was doing. I hate not hearing from her and its driving me crazy. Did I lose her for good you think? What should I do? Any advice is appreciated.